I think one of the most effective lies that we believe when we are going through hard times is that we are alone. It is why we run to social media and cling to anything that gives us a sense of belonging.

”Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you”

Isaiah 43:1b-2a (emphasis mine).

There have been many times that I have felt alone. Sometimes it was due to my own choices and actions – suffering consequences of being a stubborn, rebellious young woman. Other times it was due to just life being life. I never planned on having trouble having children. Going on social media can drop me deep into the comparison trap – seeing friends, family, and strangers always celebrating pregnancies and births month after month while all I get is heartache. It is a gut wrenching sorrow and it makes you feel so isolated and alone. I think “Why do they get such happiness and I feel forgotten by God?”

I think we all have areas of our lives like this, an area of isolation and feeling forgotten.

The thing is, feeling can often lie. This doesn’t mean that feeling don’t matter, just that they do not represent truth.

During this past year I have been so encouraged by the fact that Jesus meets people right where they are at: in the mess, in the struggle, in the loneliness, and in the tears and sobs of sorrow. Jesus showed us during his life that He, who is fully God, was willing to get down into the dirt and be with us. I think I have often fallen into the thinking that God is just a lifevest or parachute that you only need when you are in a crisis and is only there for rescue. But he is so much more! He truly is a friend who never leaves us (even if you’re being rotten like I often am when I’m hurt). I don’t think I realized the power of simply being present until I have gone through the heartache of infertility. Even well meaning people trying to help can be so hurtful – sometimes you just need someone to say “I am here and I’m so sorry your hurting”.

Jesus does not have to fix everything wrong in your life to be a loving God.

I know that I am deeply loved an cared for by God even when month after month I grieve. No matter what you are going through -even if you personally don’t know anyone else going through the exact same situation, know that God sees you and He hears you. I don’t pretend to know the plans of God and I would be lying if I said I was never anger or doubted but I have to keep coming back to what I believe to be true. The truth is God loves me, he never leaves me, he sits beside me as I sorrow, he knows my future and I can trust him when I don’t make sense of this world and things don’t seem fair.

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” – Deuteronomy 31:8